Finding the Center of the Gray....

Gray areas are so tricky...and life is full of them. As a mother, navigating through it all can be a real challenge. My son is such a little sweetheart. Like all kids, he has his difficult moments, but for the most part he is just a sweet little spirit who looks for ways to bless others. He is a constant source of hilarious silliness, a big help around the house, and a great big brother always (maybe I should say *usually*) willing to lend a hand to his little sister. He is boisterous, has a fun sense of humor and belly laugh to match, and has a wonderful imagination. He is all boy and loves all forms of action heroes but is not above playing dress up if his present company so desires. There is one aspect of his personality however, that is a bit of a mystery to me. When he meets someone new he may talk to them like he's known them for years, or he may clam up tight as a drum and hide behind my leg. The same is true for people he knows and loves. There is no rhyme or reason to it, and no predictor of which way he will lean in any given situation. He may want to talk his grandparent's ears off on the phone, or he may silently and vigorously shake his head no if I suggest he tell them "hello". We went on a walk with an older neighbor boy last night and while we walked my son wouldn't utter a word as the other boy chattered and tried to get a little conversation going with him. We got to a park area and the boy as well as my son and daughter had a ball playing Transformers in a fun-filled battle for the Allspark. My son himself transformed into a different person, exuberant with no sign of the silent child from the trek there. When we left and started back home, he transformed back to silent mode and we couldn't pull more than an occasional one-word answer from him. We could sense his shift so we mainly just allowed him to be comfortable as our silent companion. The same happens when we are with a group of people. I helped in his Vacation Bible School class and watched him grin as he sat in the circle playing "duck-duck-goose". He was enjoying himself just fine until someone proclaimed him "goose", at which point he refused to run, preferring to hold down his spot in the circle and just observe. I was telling his daddy about it and he remembered being very similar as a child. He had hoped that our children would not go through it and was concerned that our son seemed to be following this trait. I asked him what would have helped him get past feeling that way, and he said, nothing...it's just a feeling inside. My heart hurt a little to know our son was feeling this way, and I was powerless to change it. But then it occurred to me that God makes us each unique for a purpose. He made some to be extroverts and others to be introverts just as He made some to have dark hair and some light. We all put our individual fingerprint on this world. So now as a parent, my job is to find that delicate balance between encouraging my son to step out of his comfort zone as we all have to do in this world...and letting him be who he was created to be. It isn't my job to make him into someone he's not. I just have to help him find the center of the gray...