I Am Not Ashamed...

" 'If anyone is ashamed of Me and My words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when He comes in His glory...' " ~Luke 9:26



Call me a Jesus freak, a religious fanatic, a Bible thumper, etc...it's ok, I don't mind. I'm not sure how or why being a born again Christian with a close relationship with the Savior started being painted in such a negative light. As frustrating as that is to me, it's sad, really. So many people would rather shun the One who created them than have a relationship with Him. I often wonder why, but I think they just don't know what they are missing. I grew up attending a church where I really wasn't learning much, I just went to put in my dutiful hour a week...until I became old enough to decide I didn't want to feel quite so obligated. At that point I became what my current pastor jokingly refers to as a CEO (Christmas and Easter Only) Christian. I had a concept of God, but not a relationship with Him. I prayed sometimes (mostly out of need or desperation), and I knew *about* God but I didn't *know* Him. Fortunately however...He knew me. He sent a friend into my life who He had destined to be my prayer warrior pretty much from the time of my birth (she was born three months after me and lived across the street from my family). She grew up knowing her place in God from the get go. She did her best to help me find that path, but I was unable to grasp my true need for a Savior until I had tasted just a bit of the wilder side of life. Then a friend invited me to a church that was unlike any other I had heard of. It was a bit overwhelming at first, but after I agreed to go back a second time I felt something stirring in my heart that I had never felt. It is not something that can be explained in words, I just suddenly felt like I had found something I never knew was missing until that moment. There was an invitation to make Jesus the Lord of my life at the end of service, and I felt so unworthy and scared of what changes that may entail that I didn't go up front. Instead I cried in my seat and told my friend that I wanted to know Jesus the way they had invited me too, but I felt like there was no way I could change to the point that I would ever be truly acceptable to Him. We went up afterwards and I was able to share my feelings with the associate pastor, a man who helped change my life in countless ways. He told me Jesus wanted me, that I didn't have to clean myself up on the inside before I invited Him into my heart. Inviting Him in was the point at which the slate was wiped clean. From that point all I had to do was focus on getting to know Him better and allow Him to help me be the person He created me to be. Pastor helped me pray a simple prayer after giving me the encouragement I needed to have faith and believe. "Lord, I know I am a sinner. I believe that Jesus died on a cross and rose again to pay the price for me. Come into my heart, make me a new person, help me to know You. From this point forward, I'll never be the same, in Jesus name. ~Amen." My life was changed that day, and little by little He has helped me lose my desire for things that aren't His best for my life. Do I mess up? Oh...yes. But I can come to Him and tell Him when I do, and know that I am forgiven. I get to start fresh and try again. He is someone I can talk to about anything, someone I know is working on my behalf behind the scenes because my trust is in Him. Without Him I am certain I my life would be going in a far less desirable direction. It's difficult to experience that and not want it to happen for everyone you know. It hurts when people scoff and think it's just weird, silly and over the top. I pray that those who feel that way would somehow come to really know Him before they miss their chance. I am so grateful to Him and I love Him with all my heart...I am not ashamed.